Biology Matters, And That’s Why Openness Does, Too
Below is an excerpt from the Summer/Fall 2015 issue of Pathway 2 Family. My article is the cover story. It aims to apply what we now know about infant adoption to the realm of embryo adoption.
Why not just stick with secrecy?
The way we once did traditional adoption didn’t always work so well, especially for the child at the center.
With secrecy we acted “as if” nothing remarkable had happened in the building of our family. But it had.
With secrecy, we assumed the baby would be a blank slate on which we could write our own story. But she wasn’t.
With secrecy, parents may not have fully grieved their own losses, been comfortable with difficult emotions that stem from those losses, nor have been open to answering questions the child may have asked of her beginnings. If we ignored those icky feelings and pushed away those hard conversations, we once thought, they’d just go away. But they didn’t.
People used to choose secrecy out of fear. But we no longer need to.