Gosh, is it scary to talk about anything race related. But I’m going to zoom out and talk first about things that are power imbalance related, using adoption, political theory, and the enlightened self-interest of sharing cake.
Power Shifts in Jim Gritter’s Hosting & Guesting Model
Jim Gritter, a pioneering social worker for open adoption, suggests in Hospitious Adoption (if you can’t find it to buy, try your library) that people in adoption relationships should take cues from the hospitality industry. Think about what makes a good guest. Think about what makes a good host. And then when you find yourself in one of those roles, take on the mindset of a good guest or a good host. (I submit this means to be able to imagine yourself in the place of the other and to then follow the Golden Rule.)
It’s not easy for a human to be completely consistent in their views. I wonder if we all have a hint of hypocrisy in us, no matter how much we try to arrange our beliefs into a cohesive schema.
We notice this in sports when we are hyper-vigilant and hyper-verbal about referee calls against our team, but we accept without question calls against the other team.
We notice this during election time, when we excuse behavior of the candidate from our party even though we excoriated the person from the OTHER side for doing something similar just a few years ago. Which we my have conveniently forgotten.
We find ways to justify.
(UPDATE: Witness your position on the recent Supreme Court vacancy. Would your stance on what the President/Senate should do remain consistent if the tables were turned?)