Have you heard about re-homing adopted children?

Did you know that you can give your child to a stranger without alerting anyone but a notary public? Did you know that people actually do give away children without notifying anyone but a notary public?

shatteredMegan Twohey of Reuters investigated under-the-radar child trafficking (which is technically not trafficking because no money changes hands) and NBC News shares its findings this week about Yahoo and Facebook groups that help “re-home” adopted children. According to Reuter’s analysis of the Yahoo bulletin board group Adopting-from-Disruption, at least 70 percent of the 261 children mentioned on this board — about a child a week over 5 years — were advertised as foreign-born.

The revelations are heartbreaking…

Lori Holden in The Huffington PostThe rest of my article is over on The Huffington Post.  Click to keep reading ======>

 

(I’d prefer to have your comments over there, but am leaving them open here in case that works better for you.)

Image courtesy of Suat Eman / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

10 thoughts on “Have you heard about re-homing adopted children?”

  1. Lori:

    This is unconscionable to me. It is bad enough that the foster care system in this country is broken, with children being shuffled between many homes during their childhoods, often never being checked up on and some living in squalor or abusive situations. Now, to hear the children found what they believe to be their forever home and THEN to be given away, like a pet that one can no longer care for?

    There are so many ways that we have lost our way in this country, with misplaced priorities, but this, this speaks volumes about how we’ve lost our humanity.

  2. I tried a few times to comment over there…not sure why it isn’t posting.

    My heart aches for these children and adult adoptees. This is such a deep rooted scar for them – one that they may never heal from. Within our own adoption circle, we see how the effects of such has created a lifetime of issues around trust…and rightfully so. YES…this IS happening in our back yard. Wake up North America!

  3. I tried to make an account on HuffPo the other day, and it just sat there and spun its little circle at me for an hour. Today, the Post Comment button doesn’t even work at all! So here’s my comment:

    I still just find it so strange that people would go so easily to “re-homing” a child rather than attempting to work it out – with doctors, therapists, counselors, family. How is it that an adopted child is so disposable? Would they do that if the child were born to them? And yes, of course there are parents who are that callous to their biological children too, but that’s a different discussion.

    1. One woman in a Reuter’s Facebook discussion reported being sexually assaulted by her son. And then is expected to welcome him back in her home. It’s a very complicated issue when you get into such disturbing behaviors (https://www.facebook.com/Reuters/posts/630015230352170?comment_id=6650269&offset=0&total_comments=49)

      For some it may be about disposability, but probably not for the majority of parents who find themselves at wits end.

  4. I read the article a few days ago and on one hand it made me sick to think about parents “rehoming” a child like a pet. It is incredibly sad for everyone. I did also realize though that I have no idea what has happened to push these parents to this step. I haven’t walked in their shoes so I don’t feel like I can say they should have done more, maybe they did all they felt they could. I wish there was more assistance without blame for those who need it. Also maybe some insight to those on the outside looking in that there are times things are far different and much more of a trial than what we see in the outside.

  5. Lori – do you actually think anything will change once the news cycle runs it’s course? Honestly, of all the different scandals that have cropped up in the news in the last couple of years – has anything changed once there is something else to focus on?

    What’s changed in adoption since Lydia death in California or Hana’s death in Washington? The legislation died in session to make the smallest of the small changes to Washington State laws, and there was something like 11 cases of “severe abuse of adopted children” in Washington the same year Hana died such a horrible and degrading death. Did any of the lobbying groups in adoption like the NCFA or JCICS lobby in support of changes like defining what qualifications were needed to conduct homestudies, that you needed to be licensed to do that – those types of changes – nothing radical at all and even that could not pass. It’s an attitude of can’t touch adoption laws…despite failing those who are supposed to be helped by adoption.

    Nothing changes and adoptees pay the price. I’m getting more than cynical…

    1. I don’t know…it makes me sad to think it wouldn’t. I haven’t been at this for more than a few years.

      I do think things can change. I do see, for example, that the Adoptee Rights Coalition is educating legislators on the civil rights issue about original birth certificates. I do think that we will eventually have full openness in many states, if not all.

      As for these horror issues, it seems we can get people to agree THAT things need to change, just now HOW. That’s hard work. And you’re right that people do have short attention spans. It’s hard to keep slogging when solutions are so elusive.

      What would be top 3 initiatives that should be championed — not just what but also how? Maybe that all transfers of children should go through agencies? Wait. Many of the agencies that guide the NCFA are part of other problems. Through the already overburdened county departments of social services? Wait, they are part of other problems. Raise taxes to fund county initiatives? Wait, that would overburden families who are already struggling.

      I bet there are other more nuanced solutions that can be posed and honed. We just need to slog through.

  6. A federal adoption law that allows each state to still have their own laws as long as they meet, or exceed, the standards in the federal law. A law that is designed by child welfare experts, not lawmakers that cater to what the adoption lobbyists want.

    That the US signs the UN treaty on the Rights of the Child that every other country has signed onto, and is making monitored progress to comply with – except for the US and Somalia.

    That they listen to the professionals who also happen to be adoptees, and not just hire a token adoptee to have on their staff so they can say they care…

    Next time you have a chance to ask a member of the NCFA or JCICS – ask them what they have done to safeguard adoptees – not what they have done to make more adoptions happen – safeguard the adoptees. Ask if they were lobbying the legislators in Washington State to pass those changes that were common sense and desperately needed…and what else they have done as well.

    The Adoptee Rights has succeeded, and at the same time has had to fight the adoption lobbyists every step of the way…including two different challenges to the law changes (TN and OR)…

  7. I tried really hard to comment over there, but I don’t understand how to create an account without connecting through another social media account and prefer not to do so with Facebook. I tried Twitter, but it had me listed with my original name and avitar, which is really outdated. So if I ever figure out a way that I am more comfortable with, I will go back and comment. In the meantime, here is what I wanted to say:

    I had no idea this was happening. Many thanks to you and my old friend Megan (small world) for raising awareness and encouraging discussion about this.

What say you?