Elijah Thomas, who just turned 24, was determined to find his birth father. In a sort of reverse Gotcha, he shares with us the story of his adoption reunion.
Adoption is Never Totally Closed in Our Hearts.
First off, I am no adoption expert.
I don’t recommend what I did for everyone.
Ultimately I think I did this so that my birth father wouldn’t have the opportunity to reject me (again). From what I understood, he wanted no contact with me.
Perhaps I was a bit angry with the idea that a person could father a child and then choose to simply ignore that fact for the rest of their life.
Where was my say as the adopted child?
Even though I’ve been quite content with the life I’ve lived and my wonderful family, I still had thoughts and feelings of incompleteness and of being rejected. These feelings were creating a rift between me and those I loved.
I was lucky enough to have very understanding parents who agreed to let me find my father. I think children of closed adoption often suffer in silence about these things.
Our adoption is never totally closed in our hearts. After
stalking meeting John, (my birth father), I feel more a part of my family (my adoptive family) than ever, because I felt more complete than ever before.
Ending & Beginning, Open & Closed
I feel like this is both an end and a new beginning for me. Meeting my birth father marks the end of a lot of suffering, self doubt, depression, and anger. Now that my adoption is open, I can finally say that the case is “closed” once and for all in my heart.
Life feels new and different now that I no longer feel like some mistake that was made 24 years ago.
Elijah Thomas is a 24 year old actor, musician, and filmmaker. He is currently an open major student at BYU. His claim to fame is his performance as Lord Voldemort in the YouTube viral video “Dark Lord Funk.” He believes that as long as communication, love, and trust, are implemented in an adoption from ALL PARTIES, the adoption can be successful.