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How to live a charmed life in 2010

I’m going to share with you the simple sentence that made all the difference to me. In one decade, it has taken me from willing my own death to leading quite a charmed life.

It is the simplest thing in the world. Yet I find it to be tantalizingly difficult.


I mean, are you really ready?

OK — here it is.

I already am all that I seek.

That’s it! Feel charmed now?

Maybe I should say more.


In the early 2000s, I began studying energy work under a modern-day mystic named Ethel. My classmates and I became intimate friends and supporters of each other, and we continued to meet and learn for 5 years. I am convinced that my time with Ethel and these women made the difference between the devastating ’90s and the uber-blessed ’00s.

Too often, in our prayers or meditations or supplications, we dwell on what we DON’T have. Implied or explicit, when you say, “I want health. I want an end to money woes. I want fertility. I want success. I want love,” you are coming from a place of lack. You feel powerless, at the mercy of God/fate/the Universe. You are small and alone and limited.

But there is another way, a way that doesn’t come from lack, from limitation, from the small you. Instead, it comes from abundance, from the Unlimited, from the big, connected You. Which is, I believe, the REAL You. (I wrote briefly about about small lori and Big Lori here.)

My previous prayers were prayers of contraction. “Please let me get this job. Please bring me a soul mate. Please give me a positive pee stick. Please make me healthy.” Oprah and The Secret may espouse the Law of Attraction, but know that in drawing something to you, you are pulling in, contracting.

Contracting takes place in the realm of duality (healthy/sick, employed/unemployed, BFP/BFN). Expansion, on the other hand, goes up a level, if you will, to the realm of unity. Contraction assumes what you want is separate from you. Expansion acknowledges that nothing is separate from you –- it is only unmanifested because of limits to your ability to live consciously.

How about in 2010, playing instead with expansion? With how connected you are to all. How about realizing — or just preTENDing to realize, at first, that you already are all that you seek.

Notice that it doesn’t say you already HAVE all that you seek. This thought is not about doing, about acquiring, but about BEing. Being the Big You.

So get a bunch of sticky notes, and write the phrase on them. Stick them on your mirror, your dashboard, your kitchen cupboard, your computer monitor. Let it seep into you by osmosis, effortlessly. Become acquainted with the thought.

Next, just pretend. Play what if. What if your heart’s desire was not separate from you? What if You are so big that nothing is separate from you? What if You already are all that you seek?

And if you already meditate or do yoga or set intentions, try this one: It is my intention to remember that I already am all that I seek. Dwell on this for a few minutes daily.

Commit to this thought for 2010 and see what happens.

Here is an expansion meditation I wrote about early in my blogging days. It is aimed at the adoption wait, but it can be applied to any situation where you wish to manifest what you seek by simply acknowledging your awesomeness, your bigness.

Consider yourself charmed.

Lori Holden, mom of a young adult daughter and a young adult son, writes from Denver. She was honored as an Angel in Adoption® by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute.

Find Lori’s books on her Amazon Author page, and catch episodes of Adoption: The Long View wherever you get your podcasts.

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20 Responses

  1. Beautiful post. I would heartily agree with this mindset. Wanting, while it can bring us things and drive us, doesn’t give the same wholeness as the concept of being. I’m a big fan of trying to be mindful and enjoying where I am…even if currently it is in a state of exhaustion.

  2. This is a mantra of my wonderful therapist. She says it in many different ways like “love yourself where you are at” and “you are perfect just the way you are”

    Sometimes I just can’t get my mind around it.

    Lately I have noticed how I have nearly lost the ability to be in this moment. I was taking a bath a worrying about all the ways LB or Brad could die. Then it hit me that *now* everything is ok and all we really have is “now”. Suddenly, I felt peace – the worry vanished.

    If only it was easy to stay in the “all is well” zone. It takes practice and I haven’t been practicing.

    Thanks for the post.

  3. Great post Lori but I have one bone to pick…you made me think. How dare you do that on a Friday…rofl!

  4. My most sincere gratitude for this post. This is exactly what I have been struggling with fact…my though process is even MORE silly becasue I do not lack anything. I do have my heats desire and am just overwhelmed with it all (toddler, new baby, husband’s new job, my career). I have been thinking how overwhelmed I am…how I am so anxious all the time because my life is so full. And how stupid it is to feel this way. Trying to shift my thoughts/feelings from overwhelmed and anxious to calm, and grateful is a constant struggle.

    This post is a wonderfully tangible way to make that shift.

  5. we tried to think this way — to *be* this way — when we began our adoption outreach. opening up to the possibilities in the universe, rather than trying to “attract” something/someone externally.

    thank you for this. you are a goddess.

  6. Wow, Beautiful. I am blessed, charmed and I appreciate you for reminding me that like all of us, We are the Universe and the Universe is Us.

  7. Hi Lori!

    I bookmarked your meditation post for later. Thanks for that.

    Energy medicine is really good stuff. I followed your link to the post about Ethel and for the first time instead of thinking I need to find a really good reiki master and have some work done, maybe I need to find a great reiki master and take some classes.

    It had never occurred to me to think about studying energy medicine because I have never thought of myself as a healer type. But maybe it would be good for healing myself. And you never know where that could lead.



  8. I followed your links to your beautifully poignant post about willing yourself dead (I so identify), and connecting your little you with your Big You.

    I feel the kind of resonant stirring inside that may become a post in the future. For now I’m very happy to just be with the warmth I feel as I reflect on your words.

    Charmed by you, and love you.

  9. Hey, could you say more about the image you used? It reminds me of Fractal Images I saw when I read the book about chaos. What made you choose it to highlight this post?


  10. Lori, what I love most about your blog posts are their thoughtful approach. I just so appreciate having a source of intellectual stimulation in my life – somewhere I can go, something I can read – that makes me stop and think about a new idea or about something beyond my every day. I really love that about your blog.

  11. I already am all that I seek.

    LOVE it. How many years so many of us have wasted not realizing this simple fact.

  12. This is great, Lori. You have summed up what I have been aiming for- to be at peace with myself. I will have to reread this tomorrow when I am not so sleepy

  13. Wow. This is just awesome. Like Quiet Dreams, I am going to bookmark this to come back to. I actually posted a few days ago about 2010 being the year that I both find and start to believe in the happiness in my life – it is there . . . I just need to be open to it and embrace it. Great minds think alike!

  14. Thanks for this. In a time when I am struggling with learning how to be a Mom and still be Jamie, I was in need of a good mantra.

    It makes me feel like I am trying too hard. As if I am focusing all my energy in the wrong place. Or maybe an inefficient use of my energy? Hmmmm. Definitely something to think about.

    I’m getting my post-its and am ready to start soaking!

  15. I recently taped the words , “I Am A Writer” to the wall above my desk. I’ll let you know how that turns out:)

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