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Lori Holden holds a copy of The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption

Big Announcement: Not Paper Pregnant, but…

I. Deciding to try

August, 2008. Dear Diary. Today I publicly declared myself a Writer, in response to Melissa’s Wishing Tree post. I’m still new at this and I don’t really know how bloggers make a living at blogging, but surely people make a living writing. Right?


II. Failed cycle

Oct 2009. Dear Diary. Yay, me! I met my self-imposed deadline. I got my book proposal finished by Halloween and now am finding agents to send it to.

But my writing coach, in a ripping-off-the-Band-aid kind of way, told me that I was not going to get this out now because the proposal is riddled with problems. Surely I can fix the issues and have the proposal ready to go early in 2010, right?


November, 2010. Dear Diary. Well, anOTHER Halloween has passed and I finally finished the proposal AGAIN. Writing Coach approves. I’ve been sending my query letter to 5-10 agents a week. A few have asked for the full proposal, and I’m so excited that I’ve begun to get rejections. Every “No” gets me closer to “Yes,” right?


IV. Is that a pink line?

December, 2010. Dear Diary. One very kind agent has pointed out several “areas for improvement” in my proposal. She suggests that before she take me on that I must find a celebrity to endorse my book. Surely finding a person who knows a person who knows a famous person who will do a stranger a favor shouldn’t be that hard, right?

 IV. The pink line darkens.

May, 2011. Dear Diary. I met her through the American Fertility Association and she said yes! Brenda Strong, the actress who plays Bobby Ewing’s wife in the Dallas remake, agreed to write the foreword to my book! It’s going to be easy coasting from here on out, right?


V. Ultrasound

August, 2011. Dear Diary. Guess what! Remember that helpful agent who offered me constructive criticism? Well she’s been helping me turn out a proposal she feels comfortable taking to publishers. As of today, with the signing of our contract, I’ve got a literary agent! She’ll probably have editors beating down her door to publish my book, right?

VI. Fetal pole or just a smudge?

September, 2011. Dear Diary. My agent sends me a notice every time she hears from a publisher she’s pitched. The tally so far is:

  • Nibbles: 8
  • Outright rejections: 21
  • Nibbles that turn into rejections: 8

Self-publishing is always an option, right?


VII.  Heartbeat!

November, 2011. Dear Friends. I’m not paper pregnant and I’m not even paperback pregnant.


Lori Holden holds a copy of The Open-Hearted Way to Open AdoptionAnd not all by myself. I gained a co-author along the way. I’m thrilled that Crystal, my daughter’s first mom, is adding her voice to the book. In fact, our book will have many voices in it — adult adoptees, birth parents, adoptive parents and pre-adoptive parents, especially those with interest and experience in open adoption. We’ll be asking for some of you to share your stories over the next several months while we write the book , so stay tuned.

We won’t be sure of the moniker until our new creation takes more form, but its working name is, The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow up Whole. Our estimated delivery date is Spring of 2013.

I suppose we have some writing to do.

I AM A WRITER, right?


Lori Holden, mom of a young adult daughter and a young adult son, writes from Denver. She was honored as an Angel in Adoption® by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute.

Find Lori’s books on her Amazon Author page, and catch episodes of Adoption: The Long View wherever you get your podcasts.

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67 Responses

  1. Woohoo!!! This is so exciting!! It’ll be so wonderful to read your updates during the writing process and then to celebrate when you and Crystal submit your drafts. Congratulations and way to go!

  2. Congrats! What fabulous news. And I adore your presentation. Very clever. Sounds like this was a very long time in coming and that you worked incredibly hard to get here. So proud of you!

  3. Lori,

    Congratulations! The adoption community needs to hear more from people like you and Crystal. I’m looking forward to the “delivery” of my copy… Summer 2013 won’t come soon enough.


  4. Typing through tears of joy my friend! xoxo I couldn’t be happier for you and love how you shared your journey to hearing the “heartbeat!” I look forward to following and supporting this next part of your path to being published and can’t wait to read your book! I am sooooo excited for and proud of you! You have helped so many people through your blog and your book will surely touch so many more hearts! Yay!!! 🙂

  5. Yaaaaaay!!!! I am SO HAPPY for you!!! You deserve it! You are such a great writer. Congratulations on all of your hard work and persistence, Lori.

  6. Congratulations!!!! It sounds like you went through a bit of IF on your way to this announcement. I’m hoping it will be true that the struggle makes it all just that more special!

  7. Congratulations!! Living the dream for all of us 🙂
    Multiple times I’ve read one of your blog posts and thought, “she should write a book.” So either I’m psychic or you’re a terrific writer/parent/leader. Thanks writing…can’t wait to read it.

  8. I’m thrilled for you – and the audience that will have the opportunity to learn and grow through your book. Your announcement may be the end of this blog, but it’s the beginning of a new adventure with lots of possibilities for sharing your wisdom.

  9. “I AM A WRITER, right?”

    You most certainly are!! ; ) Congratulations, Lori, what fabulous news!! You & Crystal have such a great story to share & so much to teach people about adoption. I can’t wait to read it!

  10. I am so thrilled and excited for you!! This was clearly a long time in the works, but excellent work hanging in there and getting it done. And in Hardback no less!!

    Seriously, I can’t imagine this happening to a more deserving writer. I cannot wait to buy it, in hardback, the day it comes out.


  11. YOU are a writer. you ARE a writer. you are a WRITER!

    so proud of you, but more importantly, you should be proud of yourself!

    thrilled you will share the open hearted perspective with the world. you were and continue to be a huge source of wisdom and support for M and me. I can only imagine how many others you may influence.
    love you!

  12. Lori, I adore your birth announcement, oh, and you! Kudos and hearty congratulations. It will be a rather long gestation but so worth it at time of delivery!

  13. I am sorry to be so late in sending my heartfelt congratulations but here I am. That is so amazing and something to be so totally proud of. As an adult adoptee and someone in the wait of domestic adoption, I will be waiting for the summer of 2013 with much anticipation.

    In the meantime, I hope to one day be following in your publishing footsteps…not just yet…but soon.

  14. Wonderful! I like that it’s focused on raising a “whole child” and not just the needs of the grownups, which can sometimes conflict.

    I guess when I said nuanced, I meant that we need more stories that show all the shades and complexities and feelings of “good people” doing their best!” There seems to be a lot of anger, grief and bitterness out there.

  15. Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!

    You did it, Girl! Everything crossed for an uneventful incubation.

    Lori, you’re wonderful. Happy birthday! And I’m looking forward to the birth of “Open-hearted Adoption”. Congratulations to you and Crystal.

  16. Wow, how fantastic! What an inspiration. And from only declaring yourself a writer in 2008 – there’s hope for me too.I want to write a book too, but have no idea about what!

    Well done.

  17. HURRAY!!! Congratulations! I already know the book is fantastic. And I will be in the front row when your book tour comes to Seattle. Big hugs to you, Lori!

  18. Coooongratulations!

    I love love love how you have turned out this post….Many many many bestselling kind of vibes for your book!


  19. Here from the future via Time Warp Tuesday and can’t believe that it has been almost a year since you wrote this post. It has been awesome to be a part of your journey towards having your first book published! It was surreal to revisit this post and even read the comment I left at the time and those of others that we both know. I continue to be sooooooo happy for and proud of you! I look forward to reading a post from you a year from now about what your experience in 2013 was like with your book actually being published and in the hands of so many readers whose lives and hearts you will surely touch. xoxo

  20. I love this post and the analogy you used! Congratulations 11 months late on your book’s heartbeat! Looking forward to the birth – sometime it takes more than 9 months huh? I’m sure it will be well worth the wait!

  21. I love this post! I hadn’t seen it before, but how perfect … I love the comparison to infertility, TTC, failed cycles, and ta-da! Hope! Going back now to comment on the new post!

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