Yesterday was a day of near misses. Or, perhaps more aptly termed, “near hits.”

Chapter 1: Food Poisoning

For lunch I took a bite of my leftovers and discovered that the chicken from the night before hadn’t been fully cooked.

Unfortunately, I noticed this right after I swallowed. I did try to get rid of the offending morsel but was unsuccessful.

I imagined the processes of my own digestion as well as the multiplication of salmonella bacteria at breakneck-speed . What to do to fend off the impending doom?

I visualized my healthy immune system being no match for the invaders. I sent in reinforcements in the form of a probiotic capsule. “You got this,” I told my gut. “Thank you.”

It’s now 24 hours later and I feel fine. Whew.

Chapter 2: The Police

I was on time to pick up my teenager. Just another quarter mile to go.

As I cruised up a hill with busy prairie dogs on either side, a police car appeared in the rear view mirror. Freaking out only a little, I checked my speedometer, which said 38. A speed limit sign ahead said 30.

Crap.

The blue and red lights started flashing, so I pulled over, adrenaline surging.

“License, registration, and proof of insurance, please, ” the officer said on approach. “Do you know why I’m stopping you?”

“I was doing 35 in a 30?” I said sheepishly (and hopefully).

“You were doing 40 in a 30,” he said sternly.

“Oh, no. Here’s all my information.” My hands were shaking from embarrassment and nerves as I handed over the documentation.

“Thank you,” he said. “Wait here.”

“Might you have any grace to offer today?” I said this both meekly and boldly.

“Wait here, Ma’am.” I did.

A few minutes and a thousand little prayers later, he returned. “I’m sending you off with a warning today,” he said kindly. “Make sure you observe the speed limits from now on.”

Whew! I agreed to, we parted, and I continued on. I was only two minutes late for the rendezvous with my teen, who was suPREMEly understanding and accommodating. #thisissarcasm

Chapter 3: The Emergency Room

Early in the evening a loved one reported symptoms of a heart attack, including tingling and numbness down the left arm. That and other clues led to the decision to head to a hospital ER.

The good thing about these symptoms is that rather than hanging out for hours in the ER, you get preferential treatment due to potential lethality. We were ushered right in.

We waited about 2 hours after seeing a doctor to get the good news that this was not a heart attack.

Whew! However, we still don’t know what the issue is. More follow up is needed.

~~~~~

Whether you call these three incidents close calls near hits or near misses, this was one odd day. I can’t tell if I was lucky or unlucky. What do you make of it?