If you haven’t adopted yet, it’s hard to know the benefits of open adoption and what it’s like to have this relationship with your child’s birth family. The value in that is just huge.
— Tim Elder, Adoptive Dad of 3 and founder of InfantAdoptionGuide.com —
↑ Listen right here! ↑
The journey of adopting a baby can be so uncertain and feel so all-consuming that at times you can’t even see past it. It’s hard to look to what comes next when you don’t even know that there will be a next.
Yet adopting parents must not be short-sighted.
In Episode 203 of Adoption: The Long View, I talk with Tim Elder, founder of the Infant Adoption Guide, about the convergence of the part of the journey he focuses on — adopting — and the part of the journey I focus on — adoptive parenting. What does it take to make a smooth transition from hoping to be a parent to actually being a parent?
Tim Elder on Surprises, Imbalances, Dishonesty, and More
Listen in as we talk about:
- What surprised Tim about the “adoptive” part of adoptive parenting;
- What to do when one child has more contact with their birth parents than another child does with theirs;
- Dishonesty in the adoption process — scammers one one side, and bait-and-switchers on the other;
- Tim’s best advice for adopting well and for adoptive-parenting well.
Even if you have grand ideas and you think you’re so open, it doesn’t mean you always are. You could get lost in the moment and figure out, “Oh, wait a minute. We haven’t heard from her in a while and maybe we should reach out.”
Show Notes from Episode 203 with Tim Elder
Tim Elder is a Dad of 3 through infant adoption and founder of the InfantAdoptionGuide.com blog and podcast where he shares his personal experience with adoption alongside the experience of other adoptive families, experts, authors, adoption agencies, attorneys and more. His mission is to bring people who want to adopt a baby into a community so they can support and learn from each other in being able to adopt well.
- Website: InfantAdoptionGuide.com
- Instagram: @infantadoptionguide
- Facebook: InfantAdoptionGuide
- Twitter: @Tim4Adoption
- America Adopts article: My Dream Of Becoming An Adoptive Daddy
- Mentioned: Tim’s episode with his daughter
- Relevant: How to Explain to Differing Levels of Birth Parent Contact to Your Children
How to Tune In Regularly
A new episode comes out the first Friday of the month. You can find us on any podcast platform, or on Adopting.com.
- Apple Podcasts
- Google Podcasts
- Search for “Adoption Long View” on your preferred podcast platform.
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Lori Holden, mom of a teen son and a young adult daughter, writes from Denver. Her book, The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow Up Whole, is available through your favorite online bookseller and makes a thoughtful anytime gift for the adoptive families in your life. Catch episodes of Adoption: The Long View wherever you get your podcasts.
Lori was honored as an Angel in Adoption® in 2018 by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute.