My big announcement: Not paper pregnant but…

December 8, 2011

in Adoption, Books

I. Deciding to try

August, 2008. Dear Diary. Today I publicly declared myself a Writer, in response to Melissa’s Wishing Tree post. I’m still new at this and I don’t really know how bloggers make a living at blogging, but surely people make a living writing. Right?


II. Failed cycle

Oct 2009. Dear Diary. Yay, me! I met my self-imposed deadline. I got my book proposal all finished by Halloween and now am finding agents to send it to. But my writing coach, in a ripping-off-the-Band-aid kind of way, told me that I was not going to get this out by November 1 because the proposal is riddled with problems. Surely I can fix the issues and have the proposal ready to go early in 2010, right?


November, 2010. Dear Diary. Well, another Halloween has passed and I finally finished the proposal AGAIN. And Writing Coach approves. I’ve been sending my query letter to 5-10 agents a week. A few have asked for the full proposal, and I’m so excited that I’ve begun to get rejections. Every “No” gets me closer to “Yes,” right?


IV. Is that a pink line?

December, 2010. Dear Diary. One very kind agent has pointed out several, um, “areas for improvement” in my proposal. She suggests that before she or anyone else will take me on that I must find a celebrity to endorse my book. Surely finding a person who knows a person who knows a famous person who will do a stranger a favor shouldn’t be that hard, right?

 IV. The pink line darkens.

May, 2011. Dear Diary. I met her through the American Fertility Association and she said yes! Brenda Strong, the actress who plays Bobby Ewing’s wife in the upcoming Dallas remake, agreed to write the foreword to my book! It’s going to be easy coasting from here on out, right?


V. Ultrasound

August, 2011. Dear Diary. Guess what! Remember that helpful agent who offered me constructive criticism? Well she’s been helping me turn out a proposal she feels comfortable taking to publishers. As of today, with the signing of our contract, I’ve got a literary agent! She’ll probably have editors beating down her door to publish my book, right?

VI. Fetal pole or just a smudge?

September, 2011. Dear Diary. My agent sends me a notice every time she hears from a publisher she’s pitched my book to. The tally so far is:

  • Nibbles: 8
  • Outright rejections: 21
  • Nibbles that turn into rejections: 8

Self-publishing is always an option, right?


VII.  Heartbeat!

November, 2011. Dear Friends. I’m not paper pregnant and I’m not even paperback pregnant.


And not all by myself. I gained a co-author along the way. I’m thrilled that Crystal, my daughter’s first mom, is adding her voice to the book. In fact, our book will have many voices in it — adult adoptees, birth parents, adoptive parents and pre-adoptive parents, especially those with interest and experience in open adoption. We’ll be asking for some of you to share your stories over the next several months while we write the book , so stay tuned.

We won’t be sure of the moniker until our new creation takes more form, but its working name is, The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow up Whole. Our estimated delivery date is Spring of 2013.

I suppose we have some writing to do.

I AM A WRITER, right?


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{ 65 comments… read them below or add one }

Elizabeth December 8, 2011 at 7:08 am

Wow, congratulations! I can’t wait to read it!!!


Meredith December 8, 2011 at 7:12 am

Woohoo!!! This is so exciting!! It’ll be so wonderful to read your updates during the writing process and then to celebrate when you and Crystal submit your drafts. Congratulations and way to go!


Esperanza December 8, 2011 at 7:21 am

Congrats! What fabulous news. And I adore your presentation. Very clever. Sounds like this was a very long time in coming and that you worked incredibly hard to get here. So proud of you!


niobe December 8, 2011 at 7:25 am

Yay! This is sooo cool!


JW Moxie December 8, 2011 at 7:28 am

This is some of the best news I’ve seen in a loooong time!

Without sounding condescending, I’m so very proud of you, Lori! :)


Gina @ Special Happens December 8, 2011 at 7:34 am

Love this post. You really have been dedicated and going forward and that inspires me. Likely I would try to self-publish….I tend to be an immediate gratification kind of person.


Mel December 8, 2011 at 7:37 am

I am so enormously excited for you. Congratulations, congratulations, congratulations :-)


Debbie Schwartz December 8, 2011 at 7:41 am


Congratulations! The adoption community needs to hear more from people like you and Crystal. I’m looking forward to the “delivery” of my copy… Summer 2013 won’t come soon enough.



Kathy December 8, 2011 at 8:05 am

Typing through tears of joy my friend! xoxo I couldn’t be happier for you and love how you shared your journey to hearing the “heartbeat!” I look forward to following and supporting this next part of your path to being published and can’t wait to read your book! I am sooooo excited for and proud of you! You have helped so many people through your blog and your book will surely touch so many more hearts! Yay!!! :)


Suzy December 8, 2011 at 8:19 am

Oh I am so excited for you!!!! I loved this post!



Heather December 8, 2011 at 8:24 am

OH MY GOSH…if ANYONE ever deserved such a wonderful blessing, it’s you my dear. I’m so incredibly proud of you. xoxoxo


KeAnne December 8, 2011 at 8:28 am

Congratulations!!!! I am so excited for you and I LOVED how you organized this post :-)


Melissa December 8, 2011 at 8:29 am

Congrats!! :)


Rachel December 8, 2011 at 8:53 am



Delenn December 8, 2011 at 9:23 am

That is great news!! Congrats!


Sandy December 8, 2011 at 9:26 am

Yaaaaaay!!!! I am SO HAPPY for you!!! You deserve it! You are such a great writer. Congratulations on all of your hard work and persistence, Lori.


slowmamma December 8, 2011 at 9:35 am

Congratulations!!!! It sounds like you went through a bit of IF on your way to this announcement. I’m hoping it will be true that the struggle makes it all just that more special!


a December 8, 2011 at 10:32 am

Hurray! Congratulations! I don’t think there’s anyone better suited to writing this sort of book!


CoffeeBlue December 8, 2011 at 12:21 pm

Congratulations!! Living the dream for all of us :)
Multiple times I’ve read one of your blog posts and thought, “she should write a book.” So either I’m psychic or you’re a terrific writer/parent/leader. Thanks writing…can’t wait to read it.


Dora December 8, 2011 at 12:39 pm

OH, LORI!!!! This is awesome! I’m so excited for you. I just know your book will help so many people. Wooooohoooooo!


Kim Shand December 8, 2011 at 1:03 pm

I’m thrilled for you – and the audience that will have the opportunity to learn and grow through your book. Your announcement may be the end of this blog, but it’s the beginning of a new adventure with lots of possibilities for sharing your wisdom.


Lavender Luz December 8, 2011 at 4:43 pm

HI, Kim. Don’t worry — I’ll still be writing here!


Kir December 8, 2011 at 1:59 pm

OH MY GOD!! LORI!!!!!!!!! yea!!!!!!!!!! I’m speechless and sooooo happy for you. wow, you truly are incredible!!!!!!! xoxo


lostintranslation December 8, 2011 at 2:02 pm

How exciting! Congratulations!!


Heather December 8, 2011 at 2:11 pm

Congratulations!! (I know I already said it via Twitter, but it feels more permanent here.)


Denise December 8, 2011 at 2:29 pm

Very excited for you, Lori!


Lisa December 8, 2011 at 2:56 pm

Way to hang in there! Congratulations on completing this leg of the journey! Looking forward to the rest of the ride. :)


marcy December 8, 2011 at 6:04 pm

SOOOOOO excited for you!! Congrats! Can’t wait to see it.


a December 8, 2011 at 6:05 pm

WOOT WOOT!!! Way to go!!!


Iman December 8, 2011 at 6:11 pm

I have goosebumps and a big silly grin! Congrats!!!


Quiet Dreams December 8, 2011 at 6:12 pm

Wow! Super excited for and so very proud of you!


Rob Reed December 8, 2011 at 6:13 pm

I knew you when…

Just sayin. ;) Congrats!


C.Victor Posing December 8, 2011 at 6:18 pm

I am so honored to know you and happy for your final success. WOOOOOOOOW!!!! We were meant to meet and neat the way it happened. SUCCCEEEEEEEESSSSS.


gretchen from lifenut December 8, 2011 at 6:24 pm

Congratulations! Better start crocheting a book cover!

I am so happy for you and so proud of you.


loribeth December 8, 2011 at 6:40 pm

“I AM A WRITER, right?”

You most certainly are!! ; ) Congratulations, Lori, what fabulous news!! You & Crystal have such a great story to share & so much to teach people about adoption. I can’t wait to read it!


Jenny - Sugar Loco December 8, 2011 at 7:04 pm

I LOVE it!!! And couldn’t be more thrilled for you!!!


jjiraffe December 8, 2011 at 7:08 pm

I am so thrilled and excited for you!! This was clearly a long time in the works, but excellent work hanging in there and getting it done. And in Hardback no less!!

Seriously, I can’t imagine this happening to a more deserving writer. I cannot wait to buy it, in hardback, the day it comes out.



luna December 8, 2011 at 7:17 pm

YOU are a writer. you ARE a writer. you are a WRITER!

so proud of you, but more importantly, you should be proud of yourself!

thrilled you will share the open hearted perspective with the world. you were and continue to be a huge source of wisdom and support for M and me. I can only imagine how many others you may influence.
love you!


rajean December 8, 2011 at 7:53 pm

Lori, I adore your birth announcement, oh, and you! Kudos and hearty congratulations. It will be a rather long gestation but so worth it at time of delivery!


Baby Smiling In Back Seat December 8, 2011 at 8:00 pm

This book needs to be written, and you are the perfect writer for this book.



Amber December 8, 2011 at 8:14 pm

You are so cute and creative and talented and….the list goes on. I am absolutely thrilled for you!!!!!!!


It Is What It Is December 8, 2011 at 8:16 pm

I am sorry to be so late in sending my heartfelt congratulations but here I am. That is so amazing and something to be so totally proud of. As an adult adoptee and someone in the wait of domestic adoption, I will be waiting for the summer of 2013 with much anticipation.

In the meantime, I hope to one day be following in your publishing footsteps…not just yet…but soon.


Frenchie December 8, 2011 at 8:34 pm

Awesome!!!! You rock!!!,


Kristin December 8, 2011 at 8:44 pm

Oh My God…I am so freaking THRILLED for you…and I’m so damned proud of you! You are incredible my friend.


Lynn December 8, 2011 at 8:55 pm

Many, many, many congratulations to you! That is absolutely wonderful news! Can’t wait to read your book!!


Aimee Giese | Greeblemonkey December 9, 2011 at 1:42 am



Sally Bacchetta December 9, 2011 at 5:41 am

Mega turbo congratulations!!! I can’t wait to read it!


m. December 9, 2011 at 7:57 am

Amazingly wonderful. These are words I want to read. Congrats, my friend!


geochick December 9, 2011 at 11:14 am



Daria @ Mom in Management December 9, 2011 at 11:14 am

WAY TO GO! Your post was so clever to tie it to a pregnancy too – you are definitely a writer! Can’t wait to tell people I knew you when… :)


Harriet December 9, 2011 at 3:28 pm

Wonderful! I like that it’s focused on raising a “whole child” and not just the needs of the grownups, which can sometimes conflict.

I guess when I said nuanced, I meant that we need more stories that show all the shades and complexities and feelings of “good people” doing their best!” There seems to be a lot of anger, grief and bitterness out there.


shannon December 9, 2011 at 7:21 pm

Congratulations!!! I’ve always wanted to write a book, but I’m so afraid of rejection!


Momo Meg December 9, 2011 at 11:57 pm

This is so exciting – congratulations to you both on this joint project. Can’t wait to read more about it and read the book!!!


mrs spock December 10, 2011 at 7:35 am

Woo hoo!!


excavator December 10, 2011 at 10:35 am

Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!

You did it, Girl! Everything crossed for an uneventful incubation.

Lori, you’re wonderful. Happy birthday! And I’m looking forward to the birth of “Open-hearted Adoption”. Congratulations to you and Crystal.


Michelle December 13, 2011 at 12:03 pm

Wow, how fantastic! What an inspiration. And from only declaring yourself a writer in 2008 – there’s hope for me too.I want to write a book too, but have no idea about what!

Well done.


Denver Laura December 16, 2011 at 8:05 am

Oh I am so happy for you! Congrats!


Sunny December 16, 2011 at 12:47 pm

HURRAY!!! Congratulations! I already know the book is fantastic. And I will be in the front row when your book tour comes to Seattle. Big hugs to you, Lori!


Queenie December 17, 2011 at 1:35 pm

I am so very happy for you! You totally deserve it, and the book is going to be amazing, I’m sure.


St. Elsewhere December 25, 2011 at 7:58 am


I love love love how you have turned out this post….Many many many bestselling kind of vibes for your book!



Dresden December 30, 2011 at 8:40 am

SO SO SO SO excited for you, sweetie! WOO HOO!!
What a fantastic way to bring in a new year.
I am proud of you beyond words.


Dresden December 30, 2011 at 8:41 am

totally weird web double click moment


Kathy November 13, 2012 at 9:17 am

Here from the future via Time Warp Tuesday and can’t believe that it has been almost a year since you wrote this post. It has been awesome to be a part of your journey towards having your first book published! It was surreal to revisit this post and even read the comment I left at the time and those of others that we both know. I continue to be sooooooo happy for and proud of you! I look forward to reading a post from you a year from now about what your experience in 2013 was like with your book actually being published and in the hands of so many readers whose lives and hearts you will surely touch. xoxo


Mud Hut Mama November 13, 2012 at 10:17 pm

I love this post and the analogy you used! Congratulations 11 months late on your book’s heartbeat! Looking forward to the birth – sometime it takes more than 9 months huh? I’m sure it will be well worth the wait!


Justine November 15, 2012 at 11:12 am

I love this post! I hadn’t seen it before, but how perfect … I love the comparison to infertility, TTC, failed cycles, and ta-da! Hope! Going back now to comment on the new post!


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