My big announcement: Not paper pregnant but…

by Lori Lavender Luz on December 8, 2011

in Adoption,Books

I. Deciding to try

August, 2008. Dear Diary. Today I publicly declared myself a Writer, in response to Melissa’s Wishing Tree post. I’m still new at this and I don’t really know how bloggers make a living at blogging, but surely people make a living writing. Right?


II. Failed cycle

Oct 2009. Dear Diary. Yay, me! I met my self-imposed deadline. I got my book proposal all finished by Halloween and now am finding agents to send it to. But my writing coach, in a ripping-off-the-Band-aid kind of way, told me that I was not going to get this out by November 1 because the proposal is riddled with problems. Surely I can fix the issues and have the proposal ready to go early in 2010, right?


November, 2010. Dear Diary. Well, another Halloween has passed and I finally finished the proposal AGAIN. And Writing Coach approves. I’ve been sending my query letter to 5-10 agents a week. A few have asked for the full proposal, and I’m so excited that I’ve begun to get rejections. Every “No” gets me closer to “Yes,” right?


IV. Is that a pink line?

December, 2010. Dear Diary. One very kind agent has pointed out several, um, “areas for improvement” in my proposal. She suggests that before she or anyone else will take me on that I must find a celebrity to endorse my book. Surely finding a person who knows a person who knows a famous person who will do a stranger a favor shouldn’t be that hard, right?

 IV. The pink line darkens.

May, 2011. Dear Diary. I met her through the American Fertility Association and she said yes! Brenda Strong, the actress who plays Bobby Ewing’s wife in the upcoming Dallas remake, agreed to write the foreword to my book! It’s going to be easy coasting from here on out, right?


V. Ultrasound

August, 2011. Dear Diary. Guess what! Remember that helpful agent who offered me constructive criticism? Well she’s been helping me turn out a proposal she feels comfortable taking to publishers. As of today, with the signing of our contract, I’ve got a literary agent! She’ll probably have editors beating down her door to publish my book, right?

VI. Fetal pole or just a smudge?

September, 2011. Dear Diary. My agent sends me a notice every time she hears from a publisher she’s pitched my book to. The tally so far is:

  • Nibbles: 8
  • Outright rejections: 21
  • Nibbles that turn into rejections: 8

Self-publishing is always an option, right?


VII.  Heartbeat!

November, 2011. Dear Friends. I’m not paper pregnant and I’m not even paperback pregnant.


And not all by myself. I gained a co-author along the way. I’m thrilled that Crystal, my daughter’s first mom, is adding her voice to the book. In fact, our book will have many voices in it — adult adoptees, birth parents, adoptive parents and pre-adoptive parents, especially those with interest and experience in open adoption. We’ll be asking for some of you to share your stories over the next several months while we write the book , so stay tuned.

We won’t be sure of the moniker until our new creation takes more form, but its working name is, The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow up Whole. Our estimated delivery date is Spring of 2013.

I suppose we have some writing to do.

I AM A WRITER, right?


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{ 65 comments… read them below or add one }

shannon December 9, 2011 at 7:21 pm

Congratulations!!! I’ve always wanted to write a book, but I’m so afraid of rejection!


Momo Meg December 9, 2011 at 11:57 pm

This is so exciting – congratulations to you both on this joint project. Can’t wait to read more about it and read the book!!!


mrs spock December 10, 2011 at 7:35 am

Woo hoo!!


excavator December 10, 2011 at 10:35 am

Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!

You did it, Girl! Everything crossed for an uneventful incubation.

Lori, you’re wonderful. Happy birthday! And I’m looking forward to the birth of “Open-hearted Adoption”. Congratulations to you and Crystal.


Michelle December 13, 2011 at 12:03 pm

Wow, how fantastic! What an inspiration. And from only declaring yourself a writer in 2008 – there’s hope for me too.I want to write a book too, but have no idea about what!

Well done.


Denver Laura December 16, 2011 at 8:05 am

Oh I am so happy for you! Congrats!


Sunny December 16, 2011 at 12:47 pm

HURRAY!!! Congratulations! I already know the book is fantastic. And I will be in the front row when your book tour comes to Seattle. Big hugs to you, Lori!


Queenie December 17, 2011 at 1:35 pm

I am so very happy for you! You totally deserve it, and the book is going to be amazing, I’m sure.


St. Elsewhere December 25, 2011 at 7:58 am


I love love love how you have turned out this post….Many many many bestselling kind of vibes for your book!



Dresden December 30, 2011 at 8:40 am

SO SO SO SO excited for you, sweetie! WOO HOO!!
What a fantastic way to bring in a new year.
I am proud of you beyond words.


Dresden December 30, 2011 at 8:41 am

totally weird web double click moment


Kathy November 13, 2012 at 9:17 am

Here from the future via Time Warp Tuesday and can’t believe that it has been almost a year since you wrote this post. It has been awesome to be a part of your journey towards having your first book published! It was surreal to revisit this post and even read the comment I left at the time and those of others that we both know. I continue to be sooooooo happy for and proud of you! I look forward to reading a post from you a year from now about what your experience in 2013 was like with your book actually being published and in the hands of so many readers whose lives and hearts you will surely touch. xoxo


Mud Hut Mama November 13, 2012 at 10:17 pm

I love this post and the analogy you used! Congratulations 11 months late on your book’s heartbeat! Looking forward to the birth – sometime it takes more than 9 months huh? I’m sure it will be well worth the wait!


Justine November 15, 2012 at 11:12 am

I love this post! I hadn’t seen it before, but how perfect … I love the comparison to infertility, TTC, failed cycles, and ta-da! Hope! Going back now to comment on the new post!


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