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We Shared a Moment

On one of these long, schooI-less days, I got a rare cuddle from my teen daughter.  She lay with her head in the crook of my arm, the rest of her body sprawled on the couch. We were nose to nose, gazing into each others’ eyes, the way you don’t do often enough because that leads to a soul-to-soul connection, and that means you’re naked and supremely vulnerable.

Vulnerable isn’t an easy place for a teen girl or the mom of a teen girl to live in — or even visit very often.

I looked down at her face — oh, the perfection of her face! Her eyes clear and piercing, lips like they were the model for Cupid’s bow, skin flawless and radiant.

“You’re beautiful, Mama,” she said, mirroring my own thoughts about her.

Apparently she was checking out my skin, too. (My skin on the face that was pointed down toward her, I might add in my defense.) Still with an abundance of love in her voice and eyes, Tessa said,

“Wow. You’re really old.”

turntable record scratch

I was, at first, filled with shame that I’d had the bad sense to grow older. Shame makes me want to lash out, which would for sure ruin this moment of intimacy.

Instead, I took to heart what she said. I am really old, to her very young eyes. And it appears she does not carry the same judgment in saying so that I do in hearing so. I’ve lived on this planet — I’ve thrived on this planet — for a long time.  That’s not nothing; that’s not bad sense. In fact, my goal as her mom is that she do the same.

The love remained in my heart — for both of us.


This post is a part of #Microblog Mondays. What’s that? A post that is between 1 word to 8 sentences long [oops]. Head over to Stirrup Queens to join the fun.

Image courtesy graur rasvan ionut at
Sound clip courtesy luffie at [cc 3.0]

Lori Holden, mom of a young adult daughter and a young adult son, writes from Denver. She was honored as an Angel in Adoption® by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute.

Find Lori’s books on her Amazon Author page, and catch episodes of Adoption: The Long View wherever you get your podcasts.

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9 Responses

  1. I am in love with this post.

    It was the way in which she loved you, not in SPITE of your being old, but BECAUSE you are old, because there is so much wisdom and experience in your soul, that made this moment so magical for me.

  2. See, this is why I adore you. You took something that many would see as an unintentional attack and instead looked at the situation through your daughter’s perspective. And it really is a beautiful thing getting older, as with age comes a beauty that can not be mimicked.

    Thank you for reminding me to celebrate getting older. And thank you for sharing this amazing moment.

  3. I love this so much. It’s true — what we think they mean vs. what they mean comes up often. It is no small feat to grow old; so many people do not.

  4. Now that kind of soul to soul connection and acceptance is what we need to make the world go round.

    Thank you for sharing that moment with us.

  5. My girl alternates between telling me I’m the best mom ever and telling me I’m beautiful and telling me I’m old. All true, obviously. 😀

  6. I love this – “And it appears she does not carry the same judgment in saying so that I do in hearing so.” An excellent reminder. You have indeed thrived on this planet.

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