The Unknown

Let’s say you get wind that someone unknown to you is checking you out. Perusing pages and pages your blog. Or angling to get your attention via various social media platforms. Or asking about you in your offline life. Whether online or in “real” life, you get the sense that someone is gathering information about you and perhaps wants to make a connection with you.

What is your first emotional wave:

  • This person is stalking me. Risk of danger. Scary!
  • This person is curious about me. I wonder what this new opportunity could be. Exciting!

unknown: good luck or bad luck

What does you answer say about you and mean to you?

Horseshoe image courtesy ponsulak at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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This post is a part of #Microblog Mondays. What’s that? A post that is not too long. Head over to Stirrup Queens to join the fun.

Could You Do This for 4 Minutes?

Or is such intimacy a hot potato that can’t be held for too long?

I conducted my own experiments yesterday.

Intimacy and Connection: Field Notes

Child A: Was fidgety. Wanted to do something more active, but stuck with the experiment. Persevered through temptations to check the timer, and later stayed to observe as I did the same with Child B. Then kissed me on the way outside to play. I felt a sense of overwhelming love, but Child A didn’t have the stillness for that sensation to move in.

At this point the kids and I watched the above video together. Child B therefore has advance knowledge going into the subject chair.

Child B: Tolerated the 4 minutes but was uncomfortable, with skittish eyes. Even so, I felt moments of deep connection. I could sense this child at a soul level, which felt exquisite because it was devoid of judgment, either of the Child or of myself (“how do I look — do I have bedhead? food in my teeth?”). Child B reported it felt “creepy,” but said so with a sly smile.

Of note: my children are t(w)eens.

Later, Husband came home from a 2 hour bike ride. I caught him in the TV room as he was stretching.

Husband: His eyes bored into mine early on, so I softened and tried to smize. I soon realized it may have been a mistake to conduct the experiment during a basketball game (he allowed me to turn the TV off, but its essence lingered). At one point he zoned out, looking beyond me, perhaps trying to shave off a minute or two with a time warp. He showed great relief when the timer beeped, and humored me by watching about half the above video, at which point it dawned on him what the experiment was about.

My conclusion? Timing is everything.

And for better (and not necessarily more accurate) results, watch the video with your subjects before conducting the experiment.

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This post is a part of #Microblog Mondays. What’s that? A post that is not too long. Head over to Stirrup Queens to join the fun.

Open adoption parenting & mindful living