Where is the Oversharing Line in Our Adoption Stories?

Question: I just read your article and am an adoptive mom to a beautiful 10 month old boy named Quinton. We have a good relationship with the birth parents and have stayed connected though we reside across the country from them.

We tell almost everyone that Quinton is adopted, often because people exclaim how much he looks like both me and my husband. We feel no shame and only gratitude and pride in and for this beautiful child. But your article gave me pause — is this not my story to tell? Are you saying we should let him reveal that he was adopted to who he wants to rather than us telling them before he’s even ready to understand?

We believe so strongly in the concept of open adoption, that it is better for everyone involved if he grows up without a secret and knowing that we ALL made a loving choice for him to be raised by us.

But I see how this could be seen as me telling his story rather than my own. I mean, it is my story, too, but it certainly isn’t mine alone.

Thoughts?
Amanda

adoption privacy vs secrecy

Continue reading Where is the Oversharing Line in Our Adoption Stories?

Consequences of Openness in Adoption

openness in adoptionThe Winter/Spring issue of Pathway 2 Family is out.  The magazine’s target market isn’t people considering traditional adoption, but those considering embryo adoption*. The issue contains an article I wrote about the consequences of openness in adoption. Here’s an excerpt and a link to the issue (read for free). Continue reading Consequences of Openness in Adoption

Can You Get to Ohio in March?

If you’re interested in adoption issues and able to be in the Cleveland area the weekend of March 18-20, you’ll want to know about the Annual Adoption Gathering hosted by Adoption Network Cleveland. Coinciding with the first anniversary of this, ANC offers this:

adoption network cleveland conference

From Adoption Network Cleveland’s Open Invitation:

The Ohio adoption community has experienced a transformative year since Ohio’s Opening Day. Please join us Friday, March 18 through Sunday, March 20, 2016 as we continue our journey together, to celebrate, discuss, process, grieve, and commune with others.

Where: DoubleTree in Westlake (1100 Crocker Road, Westlake, OH 44145) Rooms are at the group rate of $99/night.  The hotel has a free airport shuttle for guests.

What: A conference to facilitate conversations about adoption that will be shaped and driven by its participants. After the tremendous outpouring of interest, support, and participation surrounding the implementation of Ohio adoptees’ right to access their original birth records in March of 2015, Adoption Network Cleveland recognized the enormous need to continue fostering the community that organically developed among Ohio adoptees near and far. This conference is an outcropping and continuation of the conversations that originated in the aftermath of last year’s monumental events.

There are nine breakout sessions and two award-winning theatrical presentations from New York City. Other highlights include filmmaker Jean Strauss and footage from last year’s Ohio opening day events, Six-Word Stories from adoptees and found birth family members, and a time for sharing with an open mic.

Event hashtags are #OHadopteesSOAR (SOAR = Success Opening Adoptees’ Records) and #Journey2Unite16.

CEUs available.

annual adoption gatheringClick to register. Get an early bird rate – $100 for Adoption Network Cleveland members and $135 for non-members – by registering before February 5, 2016.

Open adoption parenting & mindfulness