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julian lennon

Julian Lennon Gets this Crucial Piece of Open Adoption

One might think that Julian Lennon would have a heart filled with envy for his half-brother. Sean got the full-time dad, the intact family, paternal love and attention — so many vital relationship elements denied Julian while his father lived.

As with the biblical Esau vs Jacob and Joseph vs his 11 brothers, Julian had reason to see Sean as competition — or worse, the WINNER in the competition, through no fault or merit on either son’s part. After all, John Lennon left Julian and his mother behind, favoring Sean and showering his fatherly love on his younger son.

But somehow, Julian Lennon skipped emotions of murderous envy and stayed steadily on love and conciliation.

Not only that, but in later years, Julian had to resort to buying back his father’s memorabilia (including postcards from John to Julian) which had been auctioned by Yoko Ono.

(Watch from where it’ queued up to at least 6:15 — about a minute).

Later in the same CBS interview, Julian explains why he chooses to not be angry with Yoko Ono in spite of past difficulties over his father’s estate. The heartset he embraces gives more emphasis to loving than to resenting, to union over division, and it puts the loved one at the center.

That’s inspiring for adoptive families who are often called on to do the same.

Same interview, advanced to just before the 9 minute mark.

“If I hurt Sean’s mother, then I hurt Sean…Because I love Sean so much, I’ve gotten over it.”

Such emotional intelligence. Such discernment about what Julian Lennon chooses to harbor in his heart. Such prioritization of love over hurt. May all who are living in adoption also choose to love whole-heartedly.

See also:

guide to living in open adoption

Lori Holden, mom of a young adult daughter and a young adult son, writes from Denver. She was honored as an Angel in Adoption® by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute.

Her first book, The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow Up Whole, makes a thoughtful anytime gift for the adoptive families in your life. Her second book, Standing Room Only: How to Be THAT Yoga Teacher is now available in paperback, and her third book, Adoption Unfiltered, is now available through your favorite bookseller!

Find Lori’s books on her Amazon Author page and catch episodes of Adoption: The Long View wherever you get your podcasts.

9 Responses

  1. This interview left me speechless and my heart full. Julian Lennon is truly a role model for all of us about embracing love and choosing to find the good in people. What a beautiful reminder.

    1. What a loving young man. I’m sure not a lot of children would feel that way and he is truly a special person to have these feelings. His mother must have done a really good job of raising him. God bless him.

  2. I’ve long thought of Julian Lennon as a wonderful, interesting person, and this just sort of confirms that what I’ve sensed is only the tip of the iceberg. That he has a peace about him that is even greater than has come across in the past? I now have to go back and see the whole interview.

  3. I watched it several times because I couldn’t get enough of him talking about his father, mother, and Sean and how much he loved Sean. What a beautiful man.

  4. I’ve always been fond of Julian, but now I’m amazed at what an incredible spirit he has! Thank you so much for sharing this interview – this is incredible. So much wisdom in such a short video. <3

  5. My first thought, when Julian made this comment is that he displayed maturity beyond earth years. My second thought is that his mother raised him well.

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