Obviously, we had a blast. Not only did I get to hang out with friends, but I got to turn a blank canvas into something pretty (well, not hideous) and bebop to good music at the same time. All while sipping Apothic Red (do you love it, too? what the heck is in that to make it so good?).
Anne Heffron is a highly gifted writer. In fact, she’s spent decades teaching writing to others, amid her own struggles around identity, brokenness, self-destructive habits, and conflicting emotions about her own mother (it’s mere coincidence that my last post was on the Happy/Sad of adoption). Her memoir and first book, You Don’t Look Adopted, was published four months ago (though Anne is already an accomplished screenwriter), and I have just recently begun reading it.
Writing her memoir — finally — about the things most pressing but most difficult to talk about is but one of the therapies Anne has pursued in her quest for wholeness and self-worth.
Last week I witnessed a private interaction that needs to be seen by a wider audience, for it addresses the fallacy that if adoptees are happy and connected to their (adoptive) parents, it follows that they will not have any adoption issues. Can there be a “Happy/Sad” of adoption?
At the request of the question asker and with the permission of the question answerer, I share their exchange here.
Question (from an adoptee): Can you see the distinction between how an adoptee feels about their own adoption and how adoption is practiced now? Can you explain in words others can hear that an adopted person who had a “good experience” can actually have serious concerns about adoption today and speak out about it?