Coming to Consciousness: Will They or Won't They?
When our adoptees are young, we cannot anticipate how, when, and if they will process their adoptedness someday as adults. Such processing may not even be on our radar, if we have heard nothing to counter common adoption narratives like adoption is no big deal – just parent ‘em like they’re your own or love will get us through everything.
For adoptees, figuring out their identity with the added layer of adoption, and the eventual realization that in order to land in this family, they first had to leave that family, are aspects of their lives that require extra thought, attention, and integration. An adoptee has underlying currents in their life story that may – or may not – bubble to the surface, but exist, nonetheless. If our adoptees do one day dip their toes in that current, oh, how we hope it will be a gentle and smooth journey for them! Don’t all parents want their child to have an easy time of the big things in life? Some things we parents can’t control, but some we can, at least, influence.

What might we do to support such processing early in their lives, when everything involving separation and attachment is outsized in the scheme of things?
As we wind down this podcast, which will conclude at the end of this year, I am so excited to welcome two thought-leaders to talk with us about the Adoptee Consciousness Model. It was conceived by a team of adoptee-scholars including Dr JaeRan Kim, here to talk with us. Many adoptees have related to it, including Patrick Armstrong, also here with us, who unfurled on social media how the Adoptee Consciousness Model was playing out for him in his own lead-up to becoming a first-time father.
Just like you may already be thinking of ways to support your child in the future, like saving for college, you are going to want to better understand what is in store for adoptees who embark on this journey because today, right now, you are helping to set a foundation for the integration and processing they may eventually do at some stage in their life. What will you one day wish you’d known about setting that foundation now?
AboutJaeRan Kim, PhD, Creator of the Adoptee Consciousness Model
JaeRan Kim, Phd, MSW, (she/hers) is an Associate Professor in the School of Social Work and Criminal Justice at the University of Washington at Tacoma, located on the traditional territories of the Puyallup peoples.
Prior to completing her doctoral degree, she worked with foster and adopted children and families and with adults with disabilities in residential care. JaeRan’s research is focused on the wellbeing of adoptees, exploring disability, race, and transnational experiences for adoptees. Her research includes the racial, ethnic, and adoption socialization practices of Korean-American adoptee parents, the use of out-of-home care for adoptees (residential treatment, group homes, and foster care), and adult intercountry adoptees with adoption displacement experiences.
JaeRan’s research also explores the preparation and training of professional social workers. As a public scholar, JaeRan is passionate about engaging in community-based projects; her blog Harlow’s Monkey, which focuses on the transracial/transnational adoptee experience, is one of the longest-running transracial adoption blogs in the United States.


About Patrick Armstrong, Applier of the Adoptee Consciousness Model
Patrick Armstrong, (he/him) is a passionate storyteller, critical conversationalist, and proud Asian American adoptee. He is the host of the award-winning podcasts Conversation Piece, about the missing pieces of the conversations we’re already having, and The Janchi Show, a show that explores and celebrates the experiences and stories of Korean adoptees everywhere.
Patrick is also a keynote speaker and moderator, having worked with clients including Purdue University, The Indianapolis Colts, and Indiana Sports Corp. Patrick currently lives in Indianapolis with his wife, their son, and their cat.


Ep 509: the Adoptee Consciousness Model
In ep 509, JaeRan explains what the Adoptee Consciousness Model is and ways it can play out for adoptees. Is it the same as adoptees “coming out of the fog”? Well, yes and no, as both JaeRan and Patrick share.


We hear about the journeys to consciousness for both guests, and some of the ways the journey can be launched.
If you dread the day that your adoptee leaves Status Quo to embark on their adventure, or if you can hardly wait to support them when they do, this interview is a must-hear for adoptive parents.


Show Notes for ep 509 with Dr JaeRan Kim & Patrick Armstrong
Dr JaeRan Kim
- Adoptee Consciousness Model on Harlow’s Monkey
- Websites: Harlow’s Monkey and Jaerankim.com
- Instagram: @harlows_monkey
- LinkedIn: @jaerankimphd/
Patrick Armstrong
- Conversation Piece
- Website: www.conversationpiecepod.com
- Instagram: @conversationpiecepod
- Janchi Show
- Website: www.janchishow.com
- Instagram: @janchishow
- Personal
- Website: www.patrickintheworld.me
- Instagram: @patrickintheworld
- Inclusive Family Support Model (mentioned): https://www.angelatucker.com/openness and Open Adoption Grid
- Ep509 transcript
How to Tune In Regularly
You can find Adoption: The Long View on Adopting.com and on these other platforms.
- Spotify
- Apple Podcasts
- Amazon Podcasts
- Castbox
- Search for “Adoption Long View” on your preferred podcast platform.
A new episode comes out the first Friday of the month. Thank you for sharing, subscribing, and rating this episode wherever you listen!