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playlist for big emotions

Songs to Access Big Emotions & Facilitate Healing (Part 4)

More songs in my emotional playground

The book club discussion guide for the book Adoption Unfiltered includes playlists for accessing emotions from co-authors Sara Easterly, Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, and me. In this series of posts, I’m taking you on a tour of the songs on my playlist, about three at a time. Here is the fourth batch of songs that help me feel the deep feels.

Lord Is It Mine by Supertramp

The starting piano chords have a direct connection to my heartstrings. Lord Is It Mine takes me directly to sadness — but it’s a sweet sort of sadness.a woman's hands holding a tug of war rope

But it seems a time of sadness
Is a time to understand
Is it mine? Oh Lord, is it mine?

I become mindful of the boundary between me and the rest of the world. What is mine and what is not? What can I control and what can I not? What am I hanging onto pointlessly, even ridiculously?

When everything’s dark
And nothing seems right
There’s nothing to win
And there’s no need to fight

Surrender. Stopping my pointless struggles. How many songs do I need about that? Apparently the answer is always “more.”

The rise and the fall toward the end take me from sadness to resplendence…

If only I could find a way
To feel your sweetness through the day
The love that shines around me could be mine
So give us an answer, won’t you?
We know what we have to do
There must be a thousand voices
Trying to get through

…and to a state of calm that comes from releasing my tight grip on whatever it is this time that I’m desperately trying to hold on to.

Wrecking Ball by Miley Cyrus

The inclusion of this song is less about its meaning and sound and rather about a moment it takes me to.

My daughter Tessa and I were going through a rough patch when Miley Cyrus debuted Wrecking Ball. A therapist was coaching me to be more playful and less serious.  I’ve always had difficulty playing—engaging in activities that have no purpose other than enjoyment. Like, what’s the point?

image of a wrecking ball crashing into a red wall

Tessa was a baby teenager then. She and I were in the middle of a big conflict about a topic that’s lost to the ages. In an attempt to repair and reconnect, I decided to try dropping my purposefulness and to just be silly. I entered her room without a plan of what to say or do. Miley Cyrus’ song was blaring from Tessa’s speaker. Without thought, I timed a flop onto her bed with, 

I came in like a wrecking ball
I never hit so hard in love
All I wanted was to break your walls
All you ever did was wreck me
Yeah, you, you wreck me

I crooned at Tessa: “you wre-e-eck me!” Her surprise and shock turned to glee, and soon we were giggling uncontrollably. It felt so good to connect through laughter, instinct, and implusivity. This song will always make me think of not only wreckage, but also reconnection.

Eastern Sun by Ayla Nereo

sunrise in the east with three waves lapping the shoreLong ago my husband and I spent some time along the Nile River. The west bank is where the tombs are, signifying death. The east bank is where life is happening. Why? Because of the sun. Every day, you can see a beginning in the east and an ending in the west. 

This song reminds me that no matter what ending I am lamenting—a relationship, a job, a dream, even a person—the sun will keep coming up.  I can then be with the lament. Fully be with it.

Eastern sun melt the cold from my bones
Curtain rise, take the darkness from my eyes
Breathing in, pulling life into my lungs
As a child, I am born again

Listening anew, maybe this song is a little too uplifting for a batch of songs that evoke sadness. But this is my list and I like having it here.

More Songs that Soothe

Watch this space for the backstories behind a new batch of songs that are meaningful to me. Links will be filled in as each post is published.

Lori Holden, mom of a young adult daughter and a young adult son, writes from Denver. She was honored as an Angel in Adoption® by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute.

Find Lori’s books on her Amazon Author page, and catch episodes of Adoption: The Long View wherever you get your podcasts.

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