Wedged Between Pain & Joy: Angela Tucker on the Adoptee Experience

There’s something temptingly tidy about the idea of adoption. A family with extra love and resources meets a child in desperate need of both. Being adopted typically begins at the intersection of grief and loss for our birth parents and great joy for our adoptive parents.

Adoptees are wedged between that pain and joy.

— Angela Tucker, thought leader from The Adopted Life

Angela Tucker is on a mission to center adoptee voices — which have been historically marginalized — because she considers adoptees the experts in the adoption experience. That’s a great point, and adoptive parents are wise to listen, to understand.

In this new podcast episode of Adoption: The Long View, Angela talks about what it’s like to be wedged between the great pain of one set of parents and the great joy of the other. She tells a story about what can happen to an adopted person when they repeat an oft-used adoptive parent explanation like born in my heart. She also reveals the one thing that can stop an adoptee in their tracks from being authentic and vulnerable with their parents.

I know you’ll enjoy this fascinating conversation with Angela Tucker — and stick around to the end because there’s a special gift for the first 25 responders.

Ehh, I’ll just spill the beans now. For the first 25 who click through, Angela and her filmmaker husband Bryan Tucker have offered free access to Closure . Use that link, or enter promocode “lori” at checkout.

Episode 105: Angela Tucker

In this episode, Angela reveals:

  • What happens when adoptees (teens) are in adoptee-only spaces, away from their adoptive parents
  • What may need to be outsourced in adoptive parenting — especially in transracial adoptive parenting.
  • On what she’s finding has her adoption agency excavates 50 year old adoption files through Project Search & Reunion, and Angela’s attempts to reunite items and information with their owners.
  • Her best piece of advice for adoptive parents (asked of all guests).

Prefer to read? Here’s a transcript.

Shareable images below courtesy Clemencia Deleon.

Show Notes from the Angela Tucker Episode

How to Tune In Regularly

Podcast for Adoption: The Long View

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A new episode comes out the first Friday of the month. Thank you for sharing, subscribing, and rating this episode!

You’re going to love hearing from Angela and the other fascinating guests I have lined up for Season 1. I can’t wait to hear what you think!

guide to living in open adoption

Lori Holden, mom of a teen son and a young adult daughter, writes from Denver. Her book, The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow Up Whole, is available through your favorite online bookseller and makes a thoughtful anytime gift for the adoptive families in your life. Catch episodes of Adoption: The Long View wherever you get your podcasts.

Lori was honored as an Angel in Adoption® in 2018 by the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute.

One thought on “Wedged Between Pain & Joy: Angela Tucker on the Adoptee Experience”

  1. How wonderful, Lori, and how important to get the adoptee point of view. Because surely, that’s what adoption should be about – the welfare (life long) of the adoptee. Thanks to Angela for her work too.

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