Podcast Finale: Thanks for Being Along for the Ride
Well, dear listeners of Adoption: The Long View podcast, here we are at the end of this five season odyssey. I was honored to be asked to host this monthly series, especially when sponsor Adopting.com, agreed to let me cover any topic I wanted. I envisioned this podcast to be one that considers the whole of adoption, not just the shiny happy parts that are trotted out on feel-good websites and social media feeds. Out of respect for so many people living in adoption and striving for loving relationships amid the complications adoption brings, I didn’t want to cover only the “win” parts. Instead, I wanted to bring nuance and complexity, which necessitates an exploration into adoption’s losses, without diminishing adoption’s better known parts.
To use the analogy of a wedding vs a marriage, I didn’t want to focus on how to get to the altar, but rather how to cultivate deep and enduring relationships—between adoptive and birth parents when possible, but mostly between parent and adoptee. I wanted to emphasize, which I’ve done over and over throughout, that the work for healthy relationships always originates within before we aim our energy out toward others.
I want to say that I’m confident that these episodes will stand the test of time. But I know from looking back at nearly 18 years of writing on this blog , that not all of them will (old stuff can be truly cringeworthy!). Adoptee and birth parent voices will continue to develop and promote more adoptee-centered approaches, and adoption itself will continue to evolve; I intend to, as well. Sometime in the future, bits of my old content, either here or in the archives of Adoption: The Long View, will surely end up sounding outdated. That’s the price of progress, of evolution, of moving forward and treating each other ever more respectfully.
Crucial Advice from 12 Brilliant Guests in Season 5
So let’s get into this fifth Best Of episode. Like the others before it, the December episode is a bite-sized recap from each guest of the Best Advice given this season. The question that ended each interview in Season 5 was this: What do you wish all adoptive parents knew from Day 1, or at least from today?
Season 5 includes eight adoptees, two birth/first parents, and one adoptive parent. Two guests are adoptees and scholars; three are adoptees and therapists. All twelve guests have a unique and fascinating perspective to share with adoptive parents who are open and curious. Each brought a perspective that made me question what I once “knew,” and cracked me open a bit so that I can show up in a different way for my daughter and son.
There is a transcript available so you can easily find any episode you’d like to refer back to and dive more deeply into.
Outro Bonus: Song from a New Adoption-Themed Musical
Can you imagine what it would be like to have seen Hamilton or Wicked before they became a phenomenon? Well, let me tell you about For The Record(s).
In the first season, I got to interview Rich Uhrlaub, who has quite an impressive resume as an adoptee activist. During the pandemic, he indulged and honed a whole new side of himself by writing and composing an entire musical. After the Best Advice section episode 511 includes a mini Q&A with Rich about his inspiration, his hopes and his drive in advocating around the country for adoptees and for equal access to original birth certificates.
Finally, our usual musical outro is replaced with the song “Real Mother,” sung by two characters in the musical. It merits this special spot because the issue of feeling real enough, of being seen as legitimate, is one of the core issues for those living in adoption.
So make sure to stay to the end for this special treat.
Best Advice from Adoption Experts in Ep 511
Show Notes for ep 511 of Adoption: The Long View
Click on the name in the list below to go to the guests’ own site. Click on the episode number to go to that guest’s full interview.
- 501: Jennifer Dyan Ghoston on What We Get Wrong about Same-Race Adoption
- 502: Glenna Boggs & Lauren Fishbein on Exploring the Full Range of Adoptee Emotions
- 503: Amber Jimerson on Adoption & The Bible
- 504: Katie Cowles & Amber Wooten on Lessons Learned from22 Years in an Open Adoption
- 505 & 506: Torie DiMartile on the Many Facets of Adoptee Math
- 507: Robyn Gobbel on Dealing with Big Baffling Behaviors
- 508: Lanise Antoine Shelley on Centering the Adoptee as the Hero of Their Own Story
- 509: Dr JaeRan Kim and Patrick Armstrong on the Adoptee Consciousness Model
- 510: Kathy Mackechney on “Not All Parts Get Adopted.” What!?
- For The Record(s) musical: ftrmusical.com
- Rich Uhrlaub on Instagram: @iambicrich
- Ep 511 transcript
You may also wish to search any episode by role, such as episodes featuring birth parents or a male perspective or therapists as guests. You can do that, too.
Lastly...
May you meet everything on your road ahead with confidence, curiousity, and compassion.
How to Tune In Elsewhere
You can find Adoption: The Long View on Adopting.com and on these other platforms.
- Spotify
- Apple Podcasts
- Amazon Podcasts
- Castbox
- Search for “Adoption Long View” on your preferred podcast platform.
Thank you for sharing, subscribing, and rating this podcast so that more families can discover real talk on the complexities of adoption earlier in their journeys.
