I remember seeing Gwyneth Paltrow in Shakespeare in Love back in the day, but I haven’t sought her out in any later movies. And until this week, I’d never even heard of her lifestyle website, Goop, much less visited it. Sure, she’s been faintly on my radar for years — she’s gorgeous, wealthy, and married to a lead singer for a band I’ve been known to sing along to. I know that together they have two kids, a bit younger than mine, and that surely they live a life of glamor and riches.
I didn’t see much that we had in common other than raising two children (unless she also sings Viva La Vida in the shower).
I was also aware that, like Anne Hathaway, Gwyneth is one of those women — seemingly blessed in all the big ways — that other women love to hate. I get it. Some of her quotes do sound blesseder-than-thou, Marie Antoinette-esque in their disconnection from the lives we mere commoners experience.
As much as I feel zilch for Gwyneth regarding most of her life, I admit that I liked when I heard that she’d said she and her husband, Chris Martin, were “consciously uncoupling.” (Although if she’d researched the “50 percent of marriages end in divorce” statistic, she wouldn’t have perpetuated the myth on her site.)
Of course, I wasn’t clapping for the “uncoupling” part. The death of a long-term relationship doesn’t make me happy, especially when children are involved. I wonder if part of the uproar about Gwyneth’s announcement was the fact that she used the more uppity “uncoupling” rather than “breaking up” or “separating” or “divorcing.” Perhaps people thought she was attempting to call donkey a unicorn and think we wouldn’t notice.
But it was the other word that resonated for me: consciously.
I seek to do everything more consciously, more mindfully: Be with my kids. Prepare meals. Write. Drive. Be with my husband. Shower. Wash the dishes. Walk the dog. Really be with whomever I’m with. To do so requires single-tasking in a world that highly values — almost requires — multi-tasking. I do this in varying degrees of success. Indeed, at this moment I have 11 tabs open (plus a whole other browser!) and am simultaneously making coffee and observing my daughter play with our dog.
I’m a work in progress.
To live with intention is to go off auto-pilot, one moment at a time and then another and another and another. It requires a person to tune in and choose her words and actions deliberately over and over again. I have seen some really nasty divorces, and I applaud Gwyneth’s pledge to navigate the upcoming turbulent waters — ones that are sure to dredge up deep insecurities and fears — with mindful intention. It will not be easy.
Even for Gwyneth.
How did Gwyneth Paltrow’s announcement of conscious uncoupling come across to you?