To launch the probe into her closed adoption, Julie McGue first needed the support of her twin sister. They made a pact: Julie would approach their adoptive parents for the adoption paperwork and investigate search options, and the sisters would split the costs involved to locatie their birth relatives. But their adoptive parents weren’t happy that their daughters want to search for their birth parents — and that was only the first of many obstacles Julie would come up against as she dug into her background.
Lisa gives me a warm hug, and I introduce her to Jenny. “This is my twin sister.”
Jenny laughs and glances over at me. “About a month ago, we learned through DNA testing that we’re identical.” This isn’t a setup. Jenny and I hadn’t planned on bringing this up today.
If you haven’t adopted yet, it’s hard to know the benefits of open adoption and what it’s like to have this relationship with your child’s birth family. The value in that is just huge.
— Tim Elder, Adoptive Dad of 3 and founder of InfantAdoptionGuide.com —
↑ Listen right here! ↑
The journey of adopting a baby can be so uncertain and feel so all-consuming that at times you can’t even see past it. It’s hard to look to what comes next when you don’t even know that there will be a next.
Yet adopting parents must not be short-sighted.
In Episode 203 of Adoption: The Long View, I talk with Tim Elder, founder of the Infant Adoption Guide, about the convergence of the part of the journey he focuses on — adopting — and the part of the journey I focus on — adoptive parenting. What does it take to make a smooth transition from hoping to be a parent to actually being a parent?
Tim Elder on Surprises, Imbalances, Dishonesty, and More
Actually, I love breaking that to you. Truth and transparency will always be better in the long run than shame and secrecy. How could it be otherwise? How could we be more afraid of the truth than of lies?
TAO is reacting to an article about how DNA testing is changing the world of adoption, which she found on an adoption agency site. She chose not to link to it, and neither will I. This agency isn’t unique and it isn’t the problem. It’s just indicative of the problem, so pitchforks won’t help. But perhaps you can get the gist from these screenshots.
