Back in 2009, my sisters Sheri, Tami, and I got together at Christmas and recorded the song Dona Nobis Pacem. As I recall, the evening and the recording involved much giggling, not only by us but also by our children, who thought their mothers were acting very un-motherlike with all that childish frivolity.

(Our parents, on the other hand, were simply ecstatic, watching their progeny do something together that wasn’t bickering.)

Since then, I have shared that video here at the end of most years. Somehow on YouTube it has racked up 17K views, a few comments that could be either heartfelt or creepy, and two bah humbug thumbs down.

Then Came 2020

Last year, 2019, we didn’t celebrate Christmas together until January. So early in 2020, before the pandemic lock down — before we even knew it was coming — my sisters and I spent some face-to-face time working on a joint yoga project. We got together at the local YMCA for a quick DIY photo shoot, and, oh hey, let’s also sing the song again to make our parents happy.

Little did we know it would be the last time we’d all be together for the rest of the year and into the foreseeable future.

3 Sisters Singing

We’ve been hanging on to this short clip for almost the entire pandemic. Here’s the updated version of the Holden Sisters singing Dona Nobis Pacem in our small attempt to bring forth peace, joy, harmony, and love in a world that needs all those qualities more than ever.

May 2021 bring to you and your loved ones a mega-dose of love, peace, joy, and harmony.

This post is part of #MicroblogMondays. Whazzat? A post that’s not too long. Head to Stirrup Queens to join the fun.

Abbie Goldberg, PhD: What New Research Reveals about Adoptive Families

December 15, 2020 Lori Holden Leave a comment

I was surprised at how much positive shift there was in families’ approaches and beliefs about open adoption. That gave me hope that adoptive parents can change and adapt. They come to see the birth family as human beings, and they’ve developed empathy for people who they may have been fearful of.
They might have initially approached theoretical birth parents with suspicion or fear.
But they open up and grow.

— Abbie Goldberg, PhD,
Professor of Psychology and
Director of Women’s and Gender Studies
at Clark University, —

Abbie Goldberg, PhD, on How Adoptive Families Evolve Over Time

In this new podcast episode of Adoption: The Long View, Abbie Goldberg, PhD, tells us

how families tend to change over time regarding openness;
how their level of openness/closedness impacts their children;
the role of adoption agencies in setting expectations on both sides;
and other wisdom gleaned from 15 years of following adoptive families.

Quote from Dr Abbie Goldberg on how adoptive & birth families need to receive the same messages from their adoption professionals.

Continue reading →

Podcast

Improve Adoption Now: Rebecca Vahle on the Intersection of Unplanned Pregnancy & Infertility

December 1, 2020 Lori Holden Leave a comment

No one ever sat with me and said,
“filling the crib is not going to cure your infertility,
it’s not going to fill the hole in your heart.”
I thought that if I just filled the crib, if I became a mom,
I wouldn’t have any more grief and loss.
And now I often tell others:
If you’re adopting that child to heal your heart,
that’s a pretty dang big job to put on a baby.

— Rebecca Vahle, adoptive mom,
Angel in Adoption®,
hospital-based adoption liaison (the first in the country),
and champion of HR3690 —

Walking with Hundreds & Talking with Thousands

In this new podcast episode of Adoption: The Long View, Rebecca Vahle shares stories of adoption and parenting from multiple — and I mean MULTIPLE — perspectives. She has an uncommon experience both deep and wide, as she’s walked and talked these difficult paths with hundreds of patients and thousands of healthcare professionals. Rebecca is now actively involved in a bipartisan bill, now working its way through Congress. It’s a pro-education bill that can improve adoption in so many ways and for so many affected. She explains how this new bill would bring standardization and a focus on ethics while housing it in the realm of healthcare.