Story Telling and Story Owning
In a previous episode, biracial and transracial adoptee Torie DiMartile noted that her parents are the center of their story just as she is the center of hers. It’s no big duh that the parents of an adoptee and the adoptee themself experience the same adoption in radically different ways. In this episode, let’s further explore this notion that perspective matters in how you see and tell a story.
Too often, adoptive parents, as the earliest narrators of an adoption story, may not think to offer the space for the adoptee to figure out how they might tell their own story one day. This is why I’ve invited actress, adoptee advocate, and podcast host Lanise Antoine Shelley to talk with us about centering the adoptee as the hero of their own story.
This episode comes with an alert. This episode may take you to the edge of your comfort zone. It may even tip you over into your discomfort zone. If you hold anything sacred about adoption, anything that cannot be touched or scrutinized, you may want to skip this one and choose another from the Adoption: The Long View library.
About Lanise Antoine Shelley
Lanise Antoine Shelley, birth name Lunise Antoine, is a Haitian actress, director, and visual artist and the host of the podcast, When They Were Young; Amplifying Voices of Adoptees. She is an adoptee advocate and activator with a mission to centralize adoptees as the hero in their own stories by helping adoptees, parents, and the adoption-curious understand the importance of doing so.
Ep 508 with Lanise Antoine Shelley
In ep 508, Lanise and I talk about heroes and saviors, and the ways that adoptive parents can miss the mark in constructing the family’s narrative about adoption. She talks about the need for wholeness and offers ways parents can see and accept—I mean really see and accept—their adoptee. Some basic things can make the difference between connection and the ultimate in disconnection—eventual estrangement.
Show Notes for ep 508 with Lanise Antoine Shelley
- Instagram: @youngadoptee
- Website: www.laniseantoineshelley.com
- Torie DiMartile on the stories adoptees tell about our adoption
- Let Us Be Greater by Michelle Madrid (mentioned)
- Origin, a film based on the book Caste by Isabel Wilkerson.
- People article about a vlogger who documented an adoption on social media.
- Adoption Unfiltered episode on the fine line between child adoption and child abduction
- Ep 305: Is There a Hidden Danger in the Adoption Story You’re Telling?
- Ep 307: Tony Hynes on interracial vs transracial terminology
- Ep 508 transcript
How to Tune In Regularly
You can find Adoption: The Long View on Adopting.com and on these other platforms.
- Spotify
- Apple Podcasts
- Amazon Podcasts
- Castbox
- Search for “Adoption Long View” on your preferred podcast platform.
A new episode comes out the first Friday of the month. Thank you for sharing, subscribing, and rating this episode wherever you listen!
