“Musick has Charms to soothe the savage Breast"
No matter what roils inside your chest—anger, sorrow, grief, aggression—poet William Congreve knew that music(k) can help calm the roiling.
Dr Gordon Neufeld observed that “Music is an emotional playground. It’s a way to access sadness for which we have no words.”
I reported recently that each of us three authors of Adoption Unfiltered compiled a playlist as a feature of our book club discussion guide, and I promised to share the backstory for each of my selections.
Here are three songs that help me feel the deep feels.
Laughing With by Regina Spektor
This song has double meaning for me. One is for my sister Sheri’s son, Jake, and the other is for my sister Tami’s son, Dominic.
Many years ago, the father of three of my nephews un-alived himself just days before the 13th birthday of his oldest son, Jake.
Five years later, I was with Jake to celebrate his 18th birthday. An already talented musician and songwriter, Jake had mixed a rap song to soothe the roil in his heart about losing a father the way he did.
Jake called his song No One Laughs. The end of his version guts me every time—sure to help any listener access feelings of loss and abandonment (yes, feeling other people’s feelings can actually be helpful; no, we don’t want shut off our feelings, even the hard ones).
I had never heard the song Jake sampled as backdrop, so I looked it up and found Regina Spektor’s Laughing With.
Now, in the aftermath of the sudden loss of 17-year-old Dominic two years ago, I place Regina Spektor’s song at the top of my playlist for evoking feelings of deep sadness, and even fear (more songs about Dominic).
No one’s laughing at GodWhen it’s gotten real lateTheir kid’s not back from that party yet
For the record, Dominic was a passenger in a car. He was neither driving nor impaired. Tami implores everyone to actively discourage and never support teen drinking.
Seasons of Love from the Rent soundtrack
Rent is the quintessential Gen X theater phenomenon, debuting in the mid 1990s and wowing everyone the way Hamilton did a generation later.
Falling at Your Feet by Daniel Lanois with Bono
Falling at Your Feet seems to be about surrender amid so many of life’s absurdities.
Every teenager with acne
Every face that’s spoiled by beauty
Every adult tamed by duty
They’re all falling at your feet
The call and response between Daniel and Bono could be my internal dialog, and the music, both melodies and harmonies, helps me re-center if I’ve started to spin.
(All fall down) How to navigate
(All fall down) How to simply be
(All fall down) To know when to wait
(All fall down) This plain simplicity
(All fall down) In whom shall I trust
(All fall down) How might I be still
(All fall down) Teach me to surrender
(All fall down) Not my will, thy will
More Songs that Soothe
For links to the playlists of songs that soothe Sara and Kelsey, download our FREE Adoption Unfiltered book club guide.
Watch this space for the backstories behind a new batch of songs that are meaningful to me. Links will be filled in as each post is published.
- Part 1: Regina Spektor, Rent, Daniel Lanois & Bono
- Part 2: Pearl Jam, Avett Brothers, Sara Hester Ross
- Part 3: Kacey Musgraves, Wookiefoot, ‘Til Tuesday
- Part 4: Supertramp, Miley Cyrus, Ayla Nereo
- Part 5: One Direction, Carly Simon, Indigo Girls
- Part 6: Ingrid Michaelson, Jesus Christ Superstar, Billy Joel
- Part 7: Brandi Carlile, Wilco, Aimee Mann, John Lennon
