Temper the Selfies!

My kids’ first foray into social media has been via Instagram. Instagram is an easy way for me to keep an eye on Tessa and Reed and watch their tendencies, stepping in only as necessary — which it hasn’t been so far.

(I’m like Jane Goodall. She observed chimps in the wild habitat of Gombe; I observe imps in somewhat less civilized habitat of middle school.)

I watched as Tessa and Reed stepped into their virtual personae. Their virtual personae ended up consisting of…. Continue reading Temper the Selfies!

What Do I Do When She Lies to My Face?

open adoption adviceQuestion:  Our son’s birth mom has been telling lies about what happens at visits. She said we didn’t let our our 3 year-old open his Christmas gifts from her. He opened them right in front of her! (He was running around not really focusing on any one present). She also lied and said that we’ve cancelled previous visits and came up with excuses for not seeing her, neither of which are true.

This has become a nightmare. She’s cut us off, which is fine with us because we’re not crazy about having contact with someone who lies to our face. This isn’t what we thought open adoption would be.  — Jessica

Jessica’s initial message led to further email conversations.

Take Out The Adoption Charge

Hi, Jessica. I’m curious. How would you handle a similar situation if this behavior were coming from your sister or mother-in-law? If you think of it this way, you can distill your response to her behavior from the any emotions you may have around your connection with her via adoption (which can be highly-charged).

Continue reading What Do I Do When She Lies to My Face?

Open adoption parenting & mindfulness