What is Freedom?

Kid vs Adult

My tween and teen are eager to grow up. To them, like to teen me, being an adult means total freedom. No more parents telling you what to do at home! No more teachers telling you what to do at school! If I wanna eat Cap’n Crunch for breakfast, lunch, and dinner while watching R-rated movies round the clock, I will! I’ll talk on the phone to whomever and for however long I want! I’ll play video games until my eyeballs bleed! I can keep my room in whatever disarray I choose, and who cares if I never wash my undies and socks?

A life without limits is waiting for me just the other side of 18!

Those of us who have moved into adulthood know better.  Limits don’t magically evaporate when we turn 18. The secret kids don’t always know is that being a grown up means we just get used to having limits — financial limits, physical limits, time limits, and boundaries held by those around us.

Instead of a parent demanding things of me now, I have children. Instead of  a teacher holding expectations of me, I have a boss. I’m limited in what I can eat and drink by my body demanding that I make good choices — or else. The tyrants in my current life are ones I’ve invited in, and I cherish them.

I’ve been thinking back to when I was chomping at the bit to become an adult. I recall one of my Dad’s dad-isms, things he said over and over to my sisters and me while we naively sought a limitless life.

The other day I searched for the source of his quote on freedom, and I found obscure one by Robert Frost that was similar to my dad’s words. So to further immortalize my dad (and Robert Frost), here is what they have to say about freedom.

Fred Holden & Robert Frost on freedom

“Freedom is room to move in the harness.” — Fred Holden riffing on Robert Frost.

This perfectly summarizes adulthood to me.

What does freedom mean to you?


This post is a part of #Microblog Mondays. What’s that? A post that is not too long. Head over to Stirrup Queens to join the fun.


What I’m Watching, Reading, Supporting

Film: Black or White

I watched the Colorado premiere of Kevin Costner’s new film Black or White last night at the  the Colorado Foster Care and Adoption Film Festival.

I loved this film. I loved how these nuanced, flawed people tried to overcome their either/or tendencies to embrace a both/and paradigm for the girl who joined them together. Jillian Estell as Eloise is luminous.

Kudos to the Colorado Department of Human Services and its Office of Children, Youth & Families  for such a successful event. Please please check out waiting children on COHeartGallery.org and consider supporting other luminous kids in any way you can.

Book: You by Caroline Kepnes

simon & schuster book youConsidering I spent almost all my free time this weekend reading You, I’d say I’m obsessed with it. I can’t yet say for certain that I’ll like the middle and the end, but the beginning has me thinking about the story even while I’m going about my day. You is written in the second person and is creepy in the way that Gone Girl was. In fact, if I have any criticism so far, it’s that the book seems to be trying hard to be Gone Girl.

Still, it’s different enough that I keep reading to find out what happens next, how far the characters will go. I think I’ll be wanting to discuss this with, um, You as I turn the pages.


What are you watching, reading, supporting?


This post is a part of #Microblog Mondays. What’s that? A post that is between 1 word to 8 sentences long. Head over to Stirrup Queens to join the fun.

Kevin Costner image in social media mentions via Georges Biard [CC BY-SA 3.0], Wikimedia Commons.
Book image via Simon & Schuster.

Open adoption parenting & mindful living